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Self-Esteem and Mental Health: Why How You See Yourself Matters

Updated: Jul 30

In the mental health world, self-esteem isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a cornerstone of emotional well-being. But what exactly is self-esteem, and why does it matter so much?


At its core, self-esteem is how we view and value ourselves. It shapes how we interact with the world, how we handle setbacks, and how we treat ourselves during tough times. When our self-esteem is healthy, we’re more likely to have resilience, set boundaries, and pursue goals that are aligned with our values. When it’s low, even small challenges can feel overwhelming (Orth & Robins, 2014).



Understanding Self-Esteem


Self-esteem develops over time, shaped by our early relationships, life experiences, successes, failures, and the messages we receive from others—especially during childhood. If a person grew up hearing they were “too much,” “not enough,” or only lovable when they achieved, these messages often become internalised as truth (Mann, Hosman, Schaalma, & de Vries, 2004).


The rise of social media has added another layer. We now live in a world of constant comparison, where people’s highlight reels can make our everyday struggles seem like failures (Fardouly & Vartanian, 2016).


The Impact of Self-Esteem on Mental Health


Low self-esteem isn’t a mental health diagnosis in itself, but it can significantly contribute to conditions such as anxiety, depression, and eating disorders (Sowislo & Orth, 2013). When we don’t feel good about ourselves, it can lead to negative self-talk, feelings of worthlessness, and difficulty coping with stress.


On the flip side, healthy self-esteem acts as a protective factor. It helps us navigate life’s ups and downs with greater confidence and compassion for ourselves. People with balanced self-esteem are more likely to seek help when needed, maintain supportive relationships, and recover more quickly from setbacks.


Signs of Low Self-Esteem to Watch For


  • Constant self-criticism or negative self-talk

  • Avoiding challenges or new experiences for fear of failure

  • Difficulty accepting compliments or praise

  • Comparing yourself harshly to others

  • Feeling unworthy or undeserving of happiness


Recognizing these signs is the first step toward change (National Health Service, 2021).


Building Healthy Self-Esteem: Practical Steps


1. Practice Self-Compassion


Treat yourself like you would a close friend—kindly and patiently. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and faces struggles (Neff, 2003).


2. Challenge Negative Thoughts


When you catch yourself thinking “I’m not good enough,” pause and ask: “Is this really true? What evidence do I have?” Replace harsh thoughts with more balanced ones.


3. Set Realistic Goals


Celebrate small wins. Progress—even tiny steps—builds confidence over time.


4. Surround Yourself with Support


Spend time with people who uplift you and encourage your growth.


5. Limit Social Media Time


Remember that most online posts are curated highlights, not the full picture.


6. Seek Professional Support


Therapy can provide tools to heal past wounds and build a more positive self-view (American Psychological Association, 2023).


Remember, Self-Esteem is a Journey


Improving self-esteem isn’t about becoming perfect or constantly feeling confident. It’s about developing a kinder, more realistic relationship with yourself. It’s normal for self-esteem to fluctuate, but with attention and care, it can grow stronger—just like any other skill.


If you’re struggling with self-esteem, know that you’re not alone. Mental health professionals are here to support you on your journey toward self-acceptance and resilience.


Conclusion


Self-esteem plays a vital role in our mental health and overall happiness. By understanding its origins and impacts, we can take actionable steps to improve it. Remember, building self-esteem is a continuous journey. Embrace the process and be gentle with yourself along the way.


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